“The youth in Rwanda are not only here to prepare for the future” say’s Carine Uwera 20–student at Adventist University of Rwanda, “we are also here to change it.”
Uwera is a confident Rwandan, tall, beautiful, short natural hair and brown skin. She walks toward me with her head down, as though she is shy to be seen. She takes her seat and orders for a soft drink.
She shares with IGIHE.com the discussions she and other students from various primary and secondary schools and universities have commenced. Her team of four, plans to go to different schools and discuss issues the youth are afraid of discussing with their parents or community leaders.
“These debates all began when we first heard a story about a young female friend of ours that was H.I.V positive all because she was too shy to go and buy protection for fear of judgment.”
Uwera shared a story of a young lady resident at Kicukiro district. During courtship her male companion refused to use a condom. Instead he sent her to go get it, claiming she knew the area and he was a guest. However, she later gave in because she was more afraid of what the people would think of her if they saw her buying condoms, especially since some of them knew her.
“This was a while ago before we found out that she got infected with HIV and after that the discussions started”, “I felt there is a serious problem in our society, and I was glad to find I wasn’t the only one to think that.”
We are at a pool side, as the sun sets and the screaming voices of the children begin to disappear at the Novotel hotel in Kayciru, I notice four young and very hip people walking towards our table, 26 year old peter a student at KIST, Stephanie a 26 year old telephone operator, Patrick 19 years, a young shop vendor from Nyamirambo and Teresa 23 a waitress working at a pub in Remera. All these young minds have come with one thing on their mind, why the youth are choosing prevention over protection.
Carine begins the discussion with introductions and then hits straight into it as though we have been talking about it for hours; she goes around asking what they think about abstinence over protection.
“I believe to risk one’s life over a few moments of pleasure doesn’t seem worth it to me. So I understand those people who prefer to abstain than protect themselves. Abstinence is another sort of protection” says Teresa. It may seem a little extreme to some but I would do the same. I don’t think I could buy condoms in a small boutique where people know me, I would rather not have sex at all.”
Other ladies say it was unfair for women, because being seen buying condoms portrays them as prostitutes or loose women. However, they are simply trying to be safe. “Why can’t we walk in a shop and buy condoms without being judged. Isn’t that what all the sensitization on safe sex is about?”
“Any men or women that have plans to have sex, even if it was a spur of the moment, we should all be responsible for our partners and not those who aren’t. Women should know that if they don’t take the initiative to either say something or act, then the issue will stay a taboo forever.” Says one identified only as Peter.
After a lengthy discussion with this group i meet Damascene a local vendor whose shop is located near bars at Kacyiru. He says “I get a lot of men that buy protection but I would be very shocked to see a young woman buying Prudence (condoms), the man should be the one to buy it for her because it isn’t normal, but don’t care, it’s her business,”
Tony a customer purchasing phone credit was asked what he would do if he were to find that late at night he failed to find condom for protection. Would you have intercourse or not? He replied “I would firstly make sure that I have checked in all the shops, if they all don’t have then I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”
Another man disagreed with Tonys submission saying “you really believe that a young man who has spent hours picking up a girl, after all that trouble, she allows to go with him and he fails to find condoms will go home?” he laughs then say’s “maybe one out of a hundred”.
The cultural beliefs that prevents women from protecting themselves is Carine and her groups topic for this week and will be discussed around schools in Kigali starting this coming Monday.